准备迎接十二月的到来!!!

忙碌的一天啊!!!! 这几天真的好累。。 一直都在奔波之中。。。 

上个礼拜因为陪了Rhys 17 年的Samson 过世了 大家都很没心情。。

加上十二月是家人探访记。。

 而很多事情都还没安排， 所以心情真的是烦躁 + 焦急 !!!!! =S

不过呢， 经过昨天的努力。。 我们至少看到了一些眉目! 

所以真的要加油!  加油!!

这一次的聚真的是我再多钱也买不到的。

想到到时小朋友们也会很开心， 我也很兴奋! =)

最近和朋友聊天时， 突然谈到一些话题。。 我就一直在想， 

其实我是不是很在乎朋友或家人怎么看我的呢？ 

虽然很多人都会回答说什么我不在乎之类的话， 

可是又有多少人是真真正正做到的呢？ 

以前我也很常说我不再乎， 

可是当我遇到突发事件时， 我却不是那么常做的到。。。 

说说就算是真的很简单。。 要做真的是不容易。。。

有时当我了解到某些朋友一直活在别人的看法中， 我有时真的很懊恼。 

不明白也不了解。 

人家说你肥， 你就拼了命去减肥， 绝食。。。

=.=  真的值得吗？

 就为了让他们内疚真的值得吗？ 

还是你真的那么在乎别人怎么看你吗？ 

难不成， 人家叫你去吃屎， 你就真的去吃。。 

就为了让他们内疚。。 

这样折磨自己。。 

何必呢？ 

自己的价值是由自己来衡量， 而不是从别人的看法得来的。。 至少我是这

么认为。。 

我的生活我自己决定!!!!!!! 

我的生活写意吗?

今天回家时， 就在想其实我的生活写意吗...? 

我每天都在忙， 忙做工， 忙理财， 忙Rhys， 忙做家庭主妇， 忙朋友 ... 

担心这， 担心那...  有时我就会想， 生活这样子... 写意吗? 

有时候真的不明白。。 生活写意是不是想做什么就做什么, 就什么都不用担心？

还是生活多姿多彩？ 

有时候看到朋友的照片， 谈谈天， 了解他们的生活起落, 

有时候我真的会觉得他们的生活还真的比我的精彩多多....!!!

想出街就出街， 想看戏就看戏, 想去旅行就去旅行, 根本就没去担心其他的问题... 

就觉得他们真的没什么好担心的... 

我所有的烦恼都不在他们的范围里，而就很羡慕他们的生活！

有时候还真的会觉得他们的人生还真的像童话故事里的人物! 

真的很羡慕!!! 

就开始害怕不知道我要到什么时候, 才可以像他们一样？ 无忧无虑...

慢慢的， 我就把我自己给忘了... 

忘了欣赏回家途中的玫瑰， 忘了身边人的微笑, 忘了风吹的凉爽, 阳光的温暖...  

就一直在羡慕别人的生活， 却把自己的生活给忘了...  

想想其实我的生活也不是那么差吧...?  

虽然我不是那么有钱，没有昂贵的汽车， 超高薪的事业， 

至少我对我所有的东西很满足... 

虽然天天都活在忙碌之中， 但生活还真的蛮不错的...

因为我拥有自己的天地， 一个很爱我的男朋友， 一班疯狂的朋友，和一个很眷顾我的上帝... 

的空时就约朋友喝喝咖啡， 看电影或逛逛街~~ 

我还特别喜欢在周末坐在阳台喝杯热茶, 上上线 或是看看书刊， 看看电视... 

就突然会觉得, 我现在生活很自在... 

 很写意.... 

A cup that is half full is more than enough for me... =)

忽略

有时候有些事情可以和一些人分享。 

可是有些事情却是想说却不觉得可以和一些人分享。 

好矛盾。。 

就是不认为说了你们会明白我的感受， 

说了也就像被敷衍了，

说了偶尔还会被误会。。 这才惨。。

有时候真的很希望你们可以更了解我。。 

因为你们毕竟是和我一起长大的人。。 

可能也是最熟悉我的人。。 

终究还是不明白为什么我们会有那么多距离。 

真的是距离的问题吗? 

还是我们根本就没那个心 去彼此了解? 

有时候真的觉得自己很幸福也很可怜。。

感恩因为至少父神还很卷顾我，

让Rhys 陪在我身边， 照顾我， 扶持我牵着我的手 让我知道至少他在乎我

可怜却是我觉得和我最亲近的人并不是那么了解我。。 

可能你们没有务必要去了解我，也不须要。 

但是有时候你们可曾经想过。。 

你们可是我生命里的一部分。。 

而我有时也需要你们呢。。。？ 

我可能也须要负上些责任， 可能我也没切切实实的去了解你们。。 

把你们忽略了。。。 

对不起。。 我们可以重新彼此认识对方吗?

嗨， 你在吗? 

今天我跌倒了

今天心情真的很差.. =.=

做什么事都很没心机... *concentrate please!!!!*

又不能集中专一的做... *头好疼啊!*

结果自食其果了唉... T_T

有时候真的不明白为什么这个世界为什么是这个样子!! *WHY!!!!!!!! =( *

陪了我们那么久的 Samson, 走了.... *好想念你啊  ='(  *

很努力做一样事情时却又被别人邀功...  *为什么........!!!!!*

今天想重新给自己鼓励去做一样事情时， 偏偏就是不顺利......... *到底是怎样?!?!?!?!?!*

虽然我明白所有发生的事情, 父神是有他的理由!!!!!     可是有时候我就是很不甘愿........... * X( *

不过我相信明天会更好!!  *真的!!!!  好吗?* 

就算是再坏的天气, 太阳依旧会升起...

心情再坏, 也会有好转的一天!  

不过今天就让我像麦兜 一样....  

心情不好的时候， 那就上厕所， 上完之后， 面部狰狞

的对着马桶说...  "你给我吃屎吧你!!!"   然后猛冲厕所!!

明天,  我期待你的到来!!!

...Afraid...


it is only the start of the week and im already longing for my coming weekend.... ah.... there has been much has happened in these short couple of days... stress is sending incoming attack from every corner of my life, it is just unbelievable. But i am grateful that you are always here to stand by me, be with me, comfort me and just listen to me crying my hearts out. it is not what you told and advice me that has gave me the greatest comfort, it is probably the unlimited sanctuary that you have given me.

Your sanctuary are probably the only place i can actually say i am afraid... and know that you are there holding me tight...

谢谢你, 在我最需要你的时候, 你给了我最大的安慰!!

谢谢你, 一直以来都在守护着我!! 

BBQ across the river

Today has been great! Sunny day, nice wind breeze, bbq outdoors at the foreshore overseeing liz celebrating her farewell on the other side of the banks and most of all just enjoying our short-live holidays! We expect today to be quite busy as the city area has been block to celebrate CHOGM and liz's birthday. So we drove around to the other side of the river to try our luck in scoring a bbq spot, and we did! how awesome is that! Well, surprisingly it was quite quiet today so the atmosphere was really overwhelming! It has been a while since the last time we organise a small gathering among ourselves, and today has been great! 

Bubby cleaning the barbe

Bubby's favourite!

自由真的是无价之宝, 你拥有它了吗? 

好朋友


An additional post dedicated to my friends... 

Praying that all my friends are doing well, and that you guys miss me too! There are times and moments where I think about all that has happened when we were still wearing our blue/ white uniforms, rushing and copying each other's homework in class, BBQ at our usual spot, and just so many memories before I left you guys...Before, I really felt I am not as close to you guys as I thought  I would be because I was not there during that time when friendship bonding really begins... But I realised, it actually doesn matter if I thought we have any bonding or not, our hearts have always been together. 

I use to think the Chinese phrase 往事只能回味 is such a touchy word. it is exaggerating. I mean why would anyone think about past when the future is more important? and just a couple of days ago, I really understood its true meaning. As I was riding on the train, I suddenly thought about our good old days at school, malls, and just merely walking back home from school.. and now, I can only linger upon all these memories, and could never relive it again... Plus the fact that I am so f-ing far away, it makes it even more heartache every time I think about the past, knowing that the chances of me reliving all these memories are getting less and less... 

往事真的只能回味... 想说... 朋友们, 我真的好想念你们啊!!! 

Happy Birthday Liz! 

Hello people, it has been a while since i last blog, but still it is great to see everyone again! First of all, Happy Birthday Liz! I wish you good health and long live the queen! =D 

Because its Liz's Birthday, i am extremely grateful that i can actually take a break from all frustration and just spend the day thinking through things and just justify my self worth. I would not know how to start all these frustration... work? family? peer? or just myself? I had just gone through the toughest day yesterday. After I overcome all my responsibilities, I had just realised one of them had came back years after and bit me on the arse! *how rude!* I wanted to cry, I wanted a break! I wanted to just stop the world from turning and think through what went wrong and what is happening! but I couldn't. I lost my concentration, I continuously made mistakes that day and just could not get my head around... Everyone tell me it will be fine, but how much do they really know? simple as said it is, but to really be the person doing it, they probably would not know how much I have to go through to have what I have today, and to be who I am today... I can still taste the bitterness 4 years ago as if it just happened yesterday... All the burden are just on my shoulder.. and it just felt forever to actually relieve or take a breath from it... I just... felt lonely...

Dear sunny, when will you be back with me again?...